Writing When You Don't Think You Can
Process Post #7
There comes a time in almost every writer’s week/month/year that the feeling of flow that fuels us slows to a trickle, drips for a minute, then stops.
This is terrifying no matter how many times it happens. You know everyone goes through it. You know you won’t die from it. You know it won’t last forever. (But what if it does this time?)
But still. It sucks.
It probably looks like I’m writing right now, and yes I am, writing to you. But I’ve been writing in circles on The Project (my memoir) for a few months now. And finally trickled down to nothing. I can still string words together into a sentence. And sentences into paragraphs. I’m not channeling Jack Nicholson in The Shining. But wow, I am not making progress. And that’s simply the way it is. For now.
Why am I telling you this instead of, for example, pulling something from my rough drafts to shape up and post? Because if you write, you have been or at some point will be here. And I don’t know about you, but it truly does help me to feel like I’m not alone.
If you don’t write, you should know that for most of us who do, there’s no magic flowing through our fingertips (except once in a while, and wow is that intoxicating!). It’s work. We punch the clock even when we’re feeling lost, when we can’t figure out what we’re doing, when we’re almost at the point of deciding screw it, no one but me cares if I write this anyway.
But we don’t give up. Not forever, anyway. And see what I’m doing now? Maybe some of you who were my students remember me oh so gently suggesting that when you felt you had nothing to write, maybe write about that for a while. Yep. That’s what’s happening here.
Is it a thrilling read? No, I’m certain it is not. But once again, in solidarity with all who share my commitment to the Aggressively Handmade aesthetic, I’m fearlessly, unapologetically making a thing no one will ever mistake for AI, because making something is what I do even when the process is really hard.
If I make progress on just one thing this year, I want it to be this: to learn how to trust that showing up is good enough for today. Tomorrow, I’ll be back. Rested, caffeinated, hydrated, and ready to dip back in.
PS I know why I’m stuck and have a pretty good idea what to do about it once I retake control of my overly reactive nervous system. But I’d still love to hear how you handle your own unwanted delays on creative projects! Please share in comments.
Well, this morning I tried to adopt your tone (friendly, no-need-to-raise-the-anxiety-level-any-more way) and write to my town newspaper. I thought of it not as writing to the editor so much as trying to raise the troops from their torpor. Although I share the torpor, I am putting it aside on Martin Luther King Day.
"And that's simply the way it is for now." It does suck, Priscilla. I like how you're writing anyway and letting others know that sometimes the words dry up. Thanks for sharing what's happening in your writing world.